October 2011
1 post
9 tags
10.4.11
I don’t love him in the conventional teenaged way. Or maybe just the conventional way.
Or maybe I do, but most people just don’t talk about this part, so I don’t know it’s conventional.
I don’t want to go and dates and take loads of kissing pictures and be by his side constantly. Those things would be nice, but that’s not what I’m longing for.
I want...
9 tags
9.30.11
I feel…apathetic.
And that’s so much worse than being happy, or content, or even sad. At least when I feel those things I have something to hold on to, something real to grip and feel and examine.
But this…this is nothing. I feel everything slipping away and I can hardly bring myself to care, save those few moments of clarity when panic takes over and I can barely breathe.
All...
September 2011
4 posts
7 tags
9.28.11
I’m so tired, physically and mentally.
I slept for six hours, falling asleep at 3:30 and waking up at around 9:30, because my mom had to go to the hospital to get her kidney stone removed, and I had to watch the girls.
I had no problem doing that, obviously, but now I’m exhausted, because I had softball practise tonight. some of the girls are younger than my little brother...
2 tags
9.28.11
words are power
and I have none.
10 tags
9.27.11
Dear Diary,
I’m hoping beyond hope that this will be a place where I can truly let go. My ink and paper diary is so careful. I’m haunted by the idea that someone will read it and be hurt by something, or worse (and more likely), repulsed by the rather mangled thing my soul can sometimes be.
I don’t give a damn what strangers think of me, so long as my loved ones stay in the...