I’m so tired, physically and mentally.

I slept for six hours, falling asleep at 3:30 and waking up at around 9:30, because my mom had to go to the hospital to get her kidney stone removed, and I had to watch the girls.

I had no problem doing that, obviously, but now I’m exhausted, because I had softball practise tonight. some of the girls are younger than my little brother (who’s 14 now and much larger than I am), and they informed me that they found him cute.

nonono. he’s still just a weenie he thinks it’s funny to annoy me and sometimes steal my food. He’s my baby brother and dees bitchiez betta jus bak off.

May I just say that’s a terrible idea to follow the girlfriend of the guy you love on tumblr? Not only does it make me sad when she posts thing about how happy he makes her, but also she’s kind of awesome and I want to be frinds with her.

UGH WAT DO WITH ALL THESE FEELS?

#whitepeopleproblems

I can barely sit up in my chair. I feel kind of numb and something is cooking downstairs but I really don’t need food just a shower and some sleep oh god i’m tired.

11L30 and I’m exhausted.

fancy that.

Dear Diary,

I’m hoping beyond hope that this will be a place where I can truly let go. My ink and paper diary is so careful. I’m haunted by the idea that someone will read it and be hurt by something, or worse (and more likely), repulsed by the rather mangled thing my soul can sometimes be.

I don’t give a damn what strangers think of me, so long as my loved ones stay in the dark.

It’s strange how my mind fluctuates between being convinced that I’m a horrible, evil human, and thinking that I’m ridiculously self-centered for thinking I’m of any importance at all. It’s like I’m constantly struggling between stereotypically self-centered teenager, and Yoda. I can’t help but think that things would be easier to understand, if I didn’t have this pesky self-hatred always taunting me. No matter what I think, it’s wrong, and I’m wrong for thinking it.

I often switch between thinking I’m crazy and thinking I’m making entirely too much out of typical adolescent thought patterns.

I think my biggest fear is being typical. Sub-par. Eh.

I’d rather be spectacularly horrible than spectacularly average.

I’m tired.